


ember eyes and cigarette burns

by 5timesforreal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Death, Declarations Of Love, Falling Out of Love, Galaxies, Love, M/M, Poems, SakuAtsu Angst Week 2021, Sakutsu, atsumu communicates in poems, mentions of abuse, please read at your own risk, toxic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 17:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5timesforreal/pseuds/5timesforreal
Summary: Your eyes rival all of nature’s phenomenaSo golden, so fiery, tearing my soul away with one glanceI’m in love with your eyes-Atsumu communicates in poems. Very short, please read tags and notes before reading.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 10





	ember eyes and cigarette burns

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, another Sakuatsu Angst Week fic! Day 6: "I tried leaving. But I always end up running back to you"
> 
> *TW* mentions of abuse, violence, death, suicide, very toxic relationships *TW*
> 
> Please read at your own risk
> 
> *I do not condone these types of relationships. Please, these are very toxic and this is a work of fiction

Why do your eyes burn so bright?

Crackling flames, mushroom-cloud explosions, stars exploding then dimming away

Your eyes rival all of nature’s phenomena

So golden, so fiery, tearing my soul away with one glance

I’m in love with your eyes

They entice me, bringing me so close

I can feel the heat on my skin, warming my insides, making me want to burn myself on you

Wrap you in my arms, pull you closer

Feel the excruciating pain as embers burn holes in my skin, exposing muscle and bone

I want to feel you this close to me

So close, you hurt me

I love it when you hurt me

As flames to a forest, as cigarette burns to my frail skin

It means you love me

Right?

  
  


I tried leaving you once

Ice cold, yes you were

So pointy, so harsh, your sharp smile

I could feel the icicles prickling my skin

Leaving freezing water trails draining down my body as you touched me

It scared me, as your eyes were so bright

Why did you smile?

Was the pain enjoyable? 

Seeing me writhing around, desperate to escape those snow-covered fingers of yours

As you invaded my space, hurting me

My heart, my brain, poisoning everything you laid your soul on

I feel your fire

It’s not the same as before

I tried leaving you that time

I came running back

Because fate must’ve entwined our ropes together

Noose’s at the neck

Pulled taut

Red strings connecting to soulmates

You’re my soulmate

Right?

  
  
  


You came home late today

You were exhausted, the bags underneath your eyes more prominent than before

I made you tea

Green tea, with a teaspoon of honey and a dash of cinnamon

Just like you liked it

“Just a hint of sugar, spice, and everything nice” you’d say with your smile, eyes calculating

Why did you spill the tea everywhere?

Burning water, scalding my clothes, my skin, my eyes

It hurt, so bad

Like your eyes, embers shining in the darkness

Burning me with every stare

Red and orange, yellow and blue, bruises lining my skin

It was so hot, Kiyoomi

It hurt, Kiyoomi

I made tea, just the way you liked it

You always accepted it with a smile

Why did you drench me in it this time?

Burns covering my body, red and orange clash with angry lines

Please help me

It hurts

It must’ve been my fault

Too much honey maybe

Not enough cinnamon

Did I leave it too steep for too long?

Too green in colour, too bitter

Run me a bath won’t you?

Ice cold, like your heart

Soothing to my wounds

I don’t understand your mood swings

Staring at me as if the galaxies were my doing

Loving me, caressing me with your soft fingers, so tender

Then burning me

Enticing me with your fire, bringing me closer

Tainting my skin with your harsh words

Your eyes were so bright again

Did I make you happy?

I hope I did

I love to make you feel the love I feel when I look at you

I love you, Kiyoomi

  
  
  


Your smile is like honey, Kiyoomi

So sweet, dripping love and kindness

I can taste it on your lips

Pulling away slightly to let it linger

You’re so kind

Even when the honey becomes too sweet

I love your hair

So soft, tresses made of black silk

Covering my nose as you sleep on my chest

I love your beauty marks

Dotting your face like stars 

I connect the dots to draw constellations

I can see the Milky Way in your eyes, Kiyoomi

  
  
  


Golden yellow, bright lights

I can smell chemicals

Why am I here?

I was in your arms

Minutes ago, so warm, so cuddled

Burning hot

Angry pain

_ Save me, Kiyoomi _

I can hear screaming, Kiyoomi

I’m so scared, it’s like at home

Thunderous yells, slaps like lightning

Hot flashes and stinging

Locked doors and rivers of tears, flowing down the floor, flooding the apartment

_ I’m so scared  _

People are yelling, screaming at them to save someone

Who are they talking about?

I can’t see anything, my eyes hurt

The lights are so bright, piercing my corneas, shrinking my pupils

I can’t breathe, Kiyoomi

A vice is around my throat, similar to yours

Except, black dots are surrounding my little vision

I’m blind, Kiyoomi

I’m suffocating, Kiyoomi

My heart is stuttering, I can feel it slowing down

Noose tightening

Blood moving slower, pumping less

It’s bright red now

Wetness on my hands,  _ Is that tears? _

Chains around my neck, chest, no oxygen

I forgive you Kiyoomi

For hurting me

Scalding me with your fiery explosions

Burning me with a glance

I have the burns to prove it

Want to see?

Lining my skin, more prominent on my face

Dotting my back, scarring my thighs

You did this, Kiyoomi

I’m scared again

I can’t think

My heart stopped, I can’t feel my pulse, my organs pulsating with each breathe

I can’t breathe, Kiyoomi

  
  
  


I can see our memories

Early mornings in bed, soft touches and loving kisses, red cheeks and kind smiles

Making dinner, laughing loud, music playing from the counter, oils sizzling

Making love, sultry gazes, sweaty bodies, rhythmic moans, collapsing on top of each other

I see all of our moments, Kiyoomi

Then, storms

Lightning, thunder, pouring rain, howling winds, uprooting trees and buildings

The slap on my face

The angry, red hand imprint

The yells, screaming at me to leave, to get out, that I’m worthless

You still love me, right?

Flashes of light, burning as cigarettes touch my skin

Fiery pokers, impaling me, forever killing my insides

NO

STOP

Kiyoomi, this isn’t you

You’ll save me, right?

Noose snug, ready

I love you always, Kiyoomi

No matter what

Fate chose us

Fingers intertwining, a silent promise of forever

I’ll always be here for you

My soul belongs to you

Forever.

  
  


_ *snap* _

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, all is appreciated!
> 
> I'll be back at least once more!


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